Feeling supported, safe, and taken care of is key to having a positive birth experience. The biggest enemies of birth are fear and anxiety, which decrease mom’s ability to cope with the pain or discomfort of contractions, and can actually slow or halt the birth process altogether. You can . . . → Read More: Men and Birth: a Vancouver Doula’s Perspective]]>

A guest post byJessica Austin – Vancouver Doula

Feeling supported, safe, and taken care of is key to having a positive birth experience. The biggest enemies of birth are fear and anxiety, which decrease mom’s ability to cope with the pain or discomfort of contractions, and can actually slow or halt the birth process altogether. You can read more about why birth support is important in my article, How Good Birth Support Leads To Better Births.

As a birth doula here in Vancouver, I find it fascinating to watch the interaction between couples during childbirth. It is more intuitive for some men than others to fall smoothly into a supportive role during the intensity of birth. Birth is challenging, and it can be difficult for men to watch the mother of their unborn child working hard, sometimes feeling helpless to contribute. Furthermore, no one really teaches them how they can help.

Thankfully, in Vancouver at least,  gone are the days when the father was not allowed into the hospital birth room at all. It is great that we are birthing in a time when men are being allowed and expected to participate in birth. (Note: This isn’t true everywhere in Canada. A recent study was released showing some hospitals in Canada had been decreasing their encouragement of men and other labour support people in hospitals).

The problem is, providing nurturing support during birth is a new role for men, and it can be difficult for them to know how to best fill this role. On top of that, our culture barely talks to women about birth, never mind men! In the more recent past, men were only involved in birth as medical authority figures. Now that men are able and often expected to be mom’s primary support during birth, it’s important to help them figure out how.

Dr. Michel Odent, a popular obstetrician who has done a lot of research on birth, is well known for his position on the presence of men at birth. His position is that men do not belong at birth at all. He believes that having men at birth increases mom’s anxiety and contributes to longer, more  difficult labours. His article, A Top Obstetrician on Why Men Should Never Be At The Birth Of Their Child, stirred up a lot of controversy on the matter.

I do believe women are more intuitively able to provide positive, calming birth support to other women during labour than men are (this is why so many women, even if they have supportive partners, choose to have a professional doula support them during birth). And I also believe Dr. Odent makes some good points in his article about men sometimes contributing to higher stress levels and therefore more difficult births.

However, I think the problem lies in a lack of resources targeted to men about birth. A woman who has a solid, communicative and supportive relationship with her partner will often find great comfort in having him at her birth, especially if he has a basic understanding of what a woman’s needs are during birth and he wants to participate. In fact, a Canadian study was released recently which showed that the presence of partners (men) in the birth room resulted in better birth outcomes and more positive  experiences for moms.

For men to participate in birth in a positive way, they need to understand and embrace two key points:

1. Birth is for women. Really, fellas, birth is the one area where only the woman matters. It’s simply a fact! When it comes to men and birth, you are important in the sense that you have the potential of being an amazing birth support person for mom and helping her have a more comfortable and positive birth experience. You are important in the sense that the journey into parenthood is one you are making together, and you will be important in your role as father once your child is born. But during the birth process, the choices, needs and desires belong to mom. If you embrace that and remember you are there to support her and her needs at all times, rather than wanting to contribute with your own well-intentioned desires and visions, mom will feel much more powerful. And she needs that power to birth your child with strength and confidence.

2. A calm birth is a good birth.As I mentioned above, stress is the enemy of labour. Mom needs to feel safe and calm at all times for birth to progress with its natural flow. The people in her birth space also need to exude calmness and confidence in her and the birth process. Men need to be able to really trust in birth, trust birth is normal and natural, and truly believe mom is capable of birthing your baby (she is!). Mom will feel it if you don’t, and it will contribute to increased stress and anxiety for her. Fears and anxiety about birth are normal, especially for men. It’s okay to ask for support, or bring on a doula to help make sure everyone feels calm and supported throughout the birth.

Our birth culture is shifting more to accepting the presence of men at birth as support people. As a result, men are needing explore ways to contribute to birth in a positive way, avoiding the potential negative impact attributed to them by Michel Odent.

There are limited resources available for men and birth. I think it is important to make resources and information available to men who plan to participate in birth. This means more than just having men tag along to prenatal classes and try to read a pregnancy book or two. This means providing access to information that speaks to men about birth in a way they can relate to, in a way that allows them to draw on their masculine traits to provide nurturing and trusting support to women during birth.

Birth Takes a Village offers a Prenatal Workshop for Dads once monthly in Vancouver, BC. The workshop focuses on how men can contribute to birth in practical and helpful ways. Men seem to like tasks, clear guidelines for “what to do”, “how to solve x problem”. Having a clear and concrete set of techniques to use during birth helps men stay confident and calm, and allows mom to feel supported and comforted during birth.

…

Jessica Austin – Vancouver Doula. Promoting gentle and informed birth culture.

For more information on the Prenatal Workshop, contact Birth Takes a Village  at 604-700-4115.

HealthyBabyNetwork.com is a network of sites that include helpful articles about pregnancy, birth and newborn care. We like to share products that are environmentally friendly and healthier alternatives for mom and baby.  We also offer many free downloads and . . . → Read More: Are You Having a Baby in 2012?]]>

Happy New Year! For all the new visitors to our sites, I just wanted to let you know a little more about us.

HealthyBabyNetwork.com is a network of sites that include helpful articles about pregnancy, birth and newborn care. We like to share products that are environmentally friendly and healthier alternatives for mom and baby.  We also offer many free downloads and services for women trying to conceive or those preparing for labor and delivery.

Our Ovulation Calendar is easy to use and will provide personalized monthly calendars to let you know when you are most fertile — giving you the best chance of conception.

Print out our Birth Plan and hospital bag checklist to make sure you have a good start on planning for the big day.

If your business is related to birth, eco-products for mom and baby or you have a blog or book that you feel would be of interest to our visitors, please contact us. We are happy to help those with a similar mission as ours — “Helping moms have the best birth experience possible“

Then you meet them.

You can’t imagine #3 being any more amazing than . . . → Read More: 10 Reasons Why Baby #3 is Easier]]>

When you are pregnant with #3 you think about how you could possibly manage caring for THREE kids when two can be overwhelming. You try to imagine who this little person will be and if their personality, appearance, temperament will be like the others.

Then you meet them.

You can’t imagine #3 being any more amazing than they are – and they are the perfect addition to your family and you can’t imagine life being any different. As you look forward to the next few years, as busy as they will be, keep this list in mind when life with three presents challenges.

Here are some reasons why #3 is easier and more fun

1. You aren’t #3’s only source of learning and entertainment. #3 will spend considerable time watching older siblings and play in close proximity with them giving you a bit of a break.
2. #3 has more family members to cheer for first steps, first birthdays and other milestones.
3. #3 has learned to “brush” their teeth and other tasks at 12 months because they observe and do EVERYTHING their siblings do.
4. You KNOW that #3 will eventually sleep through the night and actually appreciate the nighttime snuggles knowing that this special time passes too quickly.
5. You have been through croup, colic, colds, vomit and mystery rashes and know that as sick as a baby can get, they recover quickly and are back to smiles and mischief in no time.
6. You’re experience allows you relax a little with the rules – most behaviors are developmental phases and having been through it a couple of times lets you truly know that “this too shall pass”.
7. You have little helpers who are eager to help grab diapers, entertain the baby and even comfort #3 when they wake up crying.
8. Although you have the largest collection of educational toys, you know that your parents were right when they said “they’ll spend more time playing with cardboard boxes and pots and pans” so that’s what #3 gets.
9. You take advantage of nap time. It’s not the time for cleaning or laundry, it’s time for mom to have a nap, catch up on a reality show or connect with a friend.
10. With #1 you really felt you were too busy to shower. By the time #3 arrives you have learned that monitors, swings, and excersaucers are all there to HELP YOU take care of yourself. You know the importance of self-care to be the best mom you can and have learned creative ways to do it.

Obviously three kids are much more work than two – some say “exponentially more” – but three can be a ton of fun regardless of the age differences between siblings. The older ones are becoming more independent and need less hands-on care and a new baby is such a miracle. Try to find the time each day to give some undivided attention to each of your children. Life with three will be busy but there is always time to give a hug, look them in the eye and say “I love you” – even if they are driving you crazy.

Like most parents you’ve researched what foods to start with.  Maybe you’ve checked with your pediatrician or physician about food allergies or what they . . . → Read More: Safely feeding your baby]]>

First foods … it’s an exciting pairing of words.   The first time you feed your infant something other than breast milk or formula there is a lot of preparation that you’ve done beforehand.

Like most parents you’ve researched what foods to start with.  Maybe you’ve checked with your pediatrician or physician about food allergies or what they recommend.  You’ve gone shopping for the all important bowls and baby spoons to start feeding those first foods.  But are you prepared if it doesn’t go well?

Not all infants are overjoyed or easily swallow their first solid foods.  Most physicians recommend a very watered down rice or other cereal to start with.  After all, your baby has been on a liquid only diet up to this point.  It is natural for him or her to spit it up, gag, or even choke on those first spoonfuls.

Before starting solids you might want to review what to do if your infant begins to choke.  The steps on what to do are basic, but in a moment of panic would you know what to do?

Disclaimer:  These instructions do not replace taking an actual hands-on CPR course.

How will I know if my infant is choking:
• Your child will not be able to breathe.
• Has high pitched breathing or wheezing sounds. 
• His or her skin color may be very flushed due to straining to breathe or may be bluish in color. 
• Your child will not be able to scream or cry.

What to do if your infant is choking:
• Support baby’s head and neck with your hand and lay baby face down across your lap.
• Give 5 forceful back slaps between baby’s shoulders
• Support baby’s head and neck and place baby face up on your lap
• Give 5 chest thrusts in the center of the chest
• Keep switching between back slaps and chest thrust until baby spits up the object or becomes unresponsive.
• If baby becomes unresponsive start CPR and call 911

You can be prepared for an emergency by taking a CPR course.  Most hospitals and fire departments offer courses.  Ask at your doctor’s office and they may be able to refer you to an instructor.

…

Gail Klanchesser is a CPR & First Aid instructor and the owner of Coastal CPR & First Aid, LLC located on the NH Seacoast.  She is a mom of 4 and an active community volunteer.  She writes on CPR, First Aid and Safety topics as well as her random life with kids.  You can find out about Gail’s courses; visit her online store of safety products or find links to all the interesting places she hangs out on her website www.coastalcpr.com

The decision to go back to work after having your first child is an agonizing one.  Most moms I have spoken with have gone back to work with a heavy heart and hope that one day they won’t feel guilty about leaving their child with someone else all day.  When my eldest was . . . → Read More: Balancing Working from Home and Motherhood – Not an easy Task]]>

by Lindsay Harris

The decision to go back to work after having your first child is an agonizing one.  Most moms I have spoken with have gone back to work with a heavy heart and hope that one day they won’t feel guilty about leaving their child with someone else all day.  When my eldest was one I struggled with this decision and ultimately decided to quit my permanent job.  I was lucky enough to find a consulting job with a previous employer and so I was able to work from home.  It was the best of both worlds.  I had an income coming in, I was challenged and most importantly I got to spend oodles of time with Ainsley.  It was fairly easy to juggle my work and her needs.

When I began looking at the options after my second daughter Juliet was born, it was a different world.  The company I had consulted for no longer had room in their budget for me so I was faced with either going back to work full-time or I had to find another solution.  I had toyed with the idea of starting my own business but had never really had a reason to take the leap.  The thought of being my own boss and being able to be here for my children was what ultimately motivated me to start Glow Baby www.glowbaby.ca.   I thought that running my own business would be similar to working as a consultant except that I could choose what I wanted to work on and every high point would be because of my efforts.

Glow Baby has been in business for 9 months now and my expectations were definitely wrong on some levels but correct in other ways.  It takes a lot of work to get a business up and running.   When you are a sole proprietor you are the accounting department, the marketing department, the sales department, shipping department and the administrator to name a few.  In my case I am also the product developer.  I love my business.  I love what I have created and I have a million ideas in my head about the direction I want my company to go.  I do not however, have enough time. 

It was definitely easier to balance my business needs and my daughters’ needs at the early stages of the business.  Ainsley was in nursery school for 4 mornings a week and Juliet would nap in the morning so I could get work done.  I would then pick Ainsley up from school we would all have lunch and then both girls would have their afternoon nap.  I would seize this opportunity to work again.  When the girls woke up we would have snack and then play until dinner time and then we would have family time until bedtime.  I would then pick up working again after they went to bed.  It was definitely busy, but I had blocks of time to devote to my work.

As Juliet grew older, she dropped her morning nap which meant that I do not have time in the morning anymore for the business.  As a result, I have found a wonderful caregiver who is able to come in two mornings a week to play with Juliet so I can work.  There are days when I struggle with the fact that I am not with her on these mornings and I do get jealous when they go out and have fun, but I keep telling myself that the total time I am missing each week is 6 hours.  If I was working in an office I would be missing her at least 9 hours a day if not more. 

Another challenge I have been faced with as the girls get older is that Ainsley has now dropped her afternoon nap.  At first this was very frustrating as there went two hours of work time, but we now have a routine.  I will let Ainsley watch an hour of TV (and yes I felt guilty and still do about this) but then she will come into my office/dining room and do her own “work”.  She will draw next to me as I work and has learned that when mommy is on the phone she needs to be quiet.  It’s actually very cute and I have a huge art collection now of Ainsley originals.  Ainsley loves to see what I am working on and I love to see what she works on and we get to do our work together.

There are days when I miss the girls as I have to devote more time to what is going on in the business but overall when really looking at the amount of time I do get to spend with them, I am very lucky.  I got to see their first steps, hear their first words and I get to be there to develop the people they are going to be.  As much work as the business can be, I am in control of the pace of our growth and can keep it slow and steady while the girls are young and build a solid foundation.  Once the girls start full-time school I can take what I have already accomplished and run with it.  I hope that the girls remember the time we spend together happily and I hope that they can see what I have done with my business and realize that they too can do anything they want if they only put their minds to it.

 …

Lindsay Harris is the owner of Glow Baby – For the Organized Family www.glowbaby.ca.  Glow Baby products are designed to help parents stay organized through all stages of parenthood to help make life easier after baby.  She is also the proud mom of two beautiful daughters ages 3 and 16 months.

When Susan* first saw the double pink lines on her pregnancy test, the last thing she thought about was a cesarean section. In fact, she barely paid attention to the information about Cesarean Sections offered during her childbirth class. A friend . . . → Read More: Is there a link between C-Sections and Postpartum Mood Disorders?]]>

A Guest Post by Lauren Hale, a mother of three and survivor of Postpartum Mood Disorders

When Susan* first saw the double pink lines on her pregnancy test, the last thing she thought about was a cesarean section. In fact, she barely paid attention to the information about Cesarean Sections offered during her childbirth class. A friend even assured her a Cesarean Section was easy: 15-20 minutes on the table and then it was over. But delivery for Susan cumilated with an emergency cesarean due to a fever she developed during labor. Her son also stopped progressing as he kept turning his head instead of moving further down the birth canal.

Suddenly, Susan found herself given a chance at two more pushes. Nurses prepped her for surgery after those last two pushes did not produce her son. Scared, confused, and nearly delirious, she was strapped to the surgical table as her arms trembled and shook so much she no longer controlled them. Her son was born within a few minutes, shown to her, then whisked away to be cleaned and checked over. She remained on the surgical table as her uterus then stomach was repaired and closed with sutures. It would be three agonizing hours before she would really meet her son. Even then, the initial glow was overshadowed by the traumatizing birth she just experienced.

As the cesarean rate skyrockets in the United States (USAToday), so do Postpartum Mood Disorder rates. 1 in 8 new mothers experiences a Postpartum Mood Disorder. After asking on Twitter for Moms to share with me if they had experienced a PMD after a cesearean, my direct message box and email inbox flooded with message after message. So many mothers had indeed faced an emergency (in the midst of labor) or last minute planned (prior to any labor attempts) Cesearean. So many other mothers I have supported over the past few years have also had a Cesarean Section. All of this would lead one to think there must be a connection between a cesearean birth and a PMD, right?

Wrong.

As I searched and searched through study after study, they all contradicted each other. One found a correlation but another dismissed it. Another study which reviewed several studies (http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cgi/content/abstract/68/2/321), concluded that “A link between Cesarean Section and Postpartum Depression has not been established.”

Yet here we are.

 Rocketing cesarean rates with rising Postpartum Mood Disorder rates. Is there really a lack of correlation? Or perhaps more mothers are bravely raising their voices about their experiences with both Cesarean Sections and Postpartum Mood Disorders, making it appear there is indeed a correlation, even if only anectdoctally at the moment.

There are of course, aspects of a Cesarean birth which would, in my opinion, raise the risk for developing a Postpartum Mood Disorder:

 A surgical birth requires a longer & more difficult recovery period: According to Childbirth.org, many mothers average 6 weeks or more to recover from a cesarean. A vaginal delivery can take as little as a few days for mom to be up and about.

1. Limited bonding opportunities after birth: Unlike a vaginal birth where baby is placed on mom’s chest immediately after birth, most Cesareans do not provide access/bonding between mother and child during the “Golden Hour” (http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/710137) which interferes with bonding and initial breastfeeding.
2. Increased risk of trauma: Post-Traumatic & Physical: Mom may have planned her Cesarean. Or Mom may have gone in expecting to give birth vaginally and faced an emergency Cesarean during the course of labor for a number of reasons. Either way, there is an increased risk of both physical and mental trauma with a Cesarean and an emergency Cesarean.
3. Increased possibility of high risk future pregnancies including Placenta Previa and Accreta. Cesarean deliveries increase the risk of developing Placenta Previa and Accreta with subsequent pregnancies. As the number of Cesarean births rise so do the number of these life-threatening complications which may result in premature delivery, hemorrhaging or another Cesarean birth (planned or emergency). In rare cases Placenta Accreta can be fatal for either mother or baby and/or both. Read here for one mother’s story. (http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news%2Fhealth&id=7727458)

There are several things mothers can do to help improve their chances of a positive outcome after a planned or emergency Cesarean:

1. Educate yourself about the risks of a surgical birth. Cesareans, bottom line, are surgical births. While they are absolutely necessary in a small percentage of cases, they are used more and more with no justifiable root cause. Advocate for a vaginal birth if at all possible. A good place to start educating yourself is at Childbirth.org (http://www.childbirth.org) While you may not be planning on a Cesarean, you may find yourself facing one during labor. A knowledgeable, educated woman will know her rights, know the risks, and be prepared to discuss them intelligently with her doctor. Involve your partner is this education as well so he/she is ready and able to go to bat for your rights as well.
2. Check your doctor or midwife’s Cesarean section rate as well as the Cesarean section rate of the hospital at which you will deliver. If you are dedicated to having a vaginal birth, it’s best to choose a hospital or caregiver with a low rate of Cesarean deliveries. A low-rate of Cesarean section can also be indicticative of stronger materntal involvement in your care.
3. Develop a support team for after-care if you have a cesarean. Clearly this team will be on stand-by if you have a vaginal birth planned. Cesareans limit your ability to: care for other children, do houswork, drive, and may require several doctor’s visits after birth if your incision were to become infected and or separate. You will need a team to pitch in to help with meal preparation, childcare, housework, and possibly even transportation to the doctor as many doctors do not allow Cesarean patients to drive for up to six weeks after surgery.
4. Discuss your feelings about your childbirth choice with your doctor BEFORE birth. Make sure you are on the same page as your caregiver. You are a team, not a dictatorship. (This goes both ways)
5. Discuss any history of mental health after birth or in general with your doctor BEFORE birth. Again, this ensures you are both aware of the risks and are ready to deal with them should they crop up in the last trimester or after delivery.
6. Consider hiring a postpartum doula in addition to a birth doula. A birth doula will support both you and your husband during labor. She does not replace your husband but rather acts as a third (very knowledgeable) party during a important part of your life. Additionally, hiring a birth doula may help avoid many emergency Cesareans (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1595013/). A postpartum doula will help at home with light housework, infant care education and care of the mother. You may even be able to hire a doula for little to no cost if she is still in training for her certification. DONA: Doulas of North America or CAPPA: Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association are two excellent organizations at which you can start your search.
7. Rest after birth. Follow orders and do not overdo yourself. Now is not the time to re-organize the entire house from top to bottom. You will heal faster if you take the time to rest and let your body heal itself.

Research does not conclusively show a connection between Cesarean sections and Postpartum Mood Disorders but anectdoctal evidence is mounting. A mother who has had a negative experience at birth due to a Cesarean Section may be more likely to develop Postpartum Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result. Many mothers who have vaginal births may develop this as well given that trauma is in the eye of the beholder, meaning that just because medical professionals or someone else does not view the event as having been traumatic but the mother does, then it was clearly traumatic for her. Perception is everything in life.

In an article about Cesarean Feelings, a recent survey by Danielle Elwood and Theresa Shebib (see The Post Cesarean Feelings Survey) was examined. In their survey, 288 mother described their Cesarean experience as wonderful or empowering. In contrast, 976 mothers described their Cesarean experience as either frustrating, traumatic, or disappointing with the highest number of mothers, 384, opting to answer that their experience was traumatic. 861 mothers were surveyed but for this question, they were allowed to choose more than one answer.

Yet no official conclusive link exists between Cesarean Sections and Postpartum Mood Disorders.

Educate yourself about your childbirth choices, make them wisely, and ensure that your mental health stays intact above all else. Self-care is not indulgent when it comes to motherhood, regardless of your childbirth choice, it is an absolute necessity. Self-care starts in pregnancy, continues through childbirth, and beyond. Be sure you are comfortable with the choices you are making and they are made in with the best information available to you. It is your body, your baby, your choice. You deserve nothing but the absolute best.

*name has been changed to protect privacy

…

Lauren Hale, a mother of three and survivor of Postpartum Mood Disorders, sleeps in until 605 am every day. Lauren survives her days on nothing more than Starbucks and sheer grit. She’s sassy, outspoken, and hardly ever takes no for an answer. Unfortunately, her kiddos are just like her and choose to exercise these qualities as she blogs about Postpartum Mood Disorders (http://www.mypostpartumvoice.com). She’s found a cure though – headphones and Pandora. Lauren also hosts #PPDChat at Twitter every Monday at 1pm EST and 830pm EST.

Some days I loved my growing belly and enjoyed all the kicks and hiccups that made it jump and shake. Other days it was more of a struggle to appreciate the bump that . . . → Read More: Maternity and Newborn Photos: A Must for Moms-to-Be]]>

Your pregnant and you feel like a gorgeous, glowing superwoman embracing her new body. Or like many women, you feel bloated, fat and exhausted or somewhere in between. 

Some days I loved my growing belly and enjoyed all the kicks and hiccups that made it jump and shake. Other days it was more of a struggle to appreciate the bump that made it so I couldn’t put on my own shoes or let me roll over comfortably in bed.

When I look back, I wish I had cherished that belly more. It’s really amazing that a little person is sharing your body and it’s equally amazing that your body will stretch and grow making the perfect home for your new baby.

I often view portfolios of photographers specializing in pregnancy and newborns. Pregnancy may seem like an eternity when you are pregnant but once baby arrives it’s just a blur and quicly fading memory. The newborn stage is so brief and filled with innocence and awe — a time that should be cherished but might not be if mom is recovering, sleep deprived and trying to manage a new world of breastfeeding.

I wish I had better photos – much better than a photo taken in my living room while proudly lifting my shirt to show my belly. Great photographers are able to somehow capture the love and fondness a pregnant woman has for her unborn baby and the pride in which she carries her new body.

Women are so lucky to be able to experience pregnancy and all of the amazing changes that go along with it. You may look back with much more fondness about being pregnant once you are into the toddler years and wish you had professional photos of that special time in your lives –  before you met but were forever bonded.  If you can afford it, hire a professional photographer specializing in maternity and newborn photos to capture you during the last 4-6 weeks of your pregnancy. You’ll never want to forget how beautiful and radiant you were when you are pregnant – even if you don’t feel that way now.